When parenting gets tough

Disclaimer: This is not intended to be a whiny post. This is a "Hey, I'm right there with ya, and if you can identify with me, let me know you are out there!" post...

For a long time, Larkyn has been able to charm adults and is oh-so-friendly to them. She becomes BFFs with every cashier she meets and she says "hi!" when we go through the drive through. Those moments are the ones when a parent's heart grows a little bigger and it is easy to forget the moments when your child's behavior is less than perfect.

She has been in childcare since she was 4 months old, enjoys the kids there, and loves playing with her own cousins. However, this summer, I started to notice that everything was not sunshine and sparkles in my sweet girl's social life.

Statue of Larkyn from wikipedia
Over at friend's houses, at playgrounds, at music class, I am now a little more on-guard when anyone approaches her to share a toy or to be in the same area she is in. Why?  Oh, they might end up with the stiff arm, will usually hear "NO! Nockins!" to defend her area, and maybe if they are really unlucky, they will be bitten.

Yes...we got our first report of her biting yesterday. Her sitter said "Can you tell mommy what happened today?" and I immediately got excited and thought she pooped in the potty (you know, our life goal). When I didn't get an answer, I asked "was it good or was it bad?"  "Not good." I looked at the other kids and saw a bite mark on her friend's arm. Yep.

I almost wish the story went that she and the other child were fighting over something or maybe he hit her first. But, no. Her sitter told her "no" to something and Larkyn turned around and bit the first thing she saw. Nice.
Family Christmas card from justjared.com
Since I live in and breathe early childhood development and psychology each day, I was crushed. Being on the other side (a parent instead of teacher), I see how they must feel when they hear about their child hurting someone else or acting out in general. We want our children to be nice.

I want her to be nice.

I can teach her letters, words, how to count, words to a song, but I cannot MAKE her friendly towards other kids. I model, I have little tolerance for the behaviors and redirect her, we have talks and consequences when she acts this way.  I know she is 2 1/2 and there is that little thing called the "terrible twos".  I just wish it didn't involve other parents warning their kids to stay away from mine because they are afraid theirs will end up sacked or like a Twilight character.

What do we do? Is this something they all go through?  Will a sibling help or make this worse?

1 comment:

Desiree said...

I am dreading this day. Just this morning Sofia nipped me on the leg and thought it was funny. I got right in her face and very seriously was like, Biting. Hurts. Please Stop. But good Lord, what if she does that to another kid?

I too worry about how things will be with another baby in the house and what that will do to her sweet personality. Already she's territorial and doesn't do things until she's good and damn ready to do them so I'm nervous, but I just have to remind myself that she's a person too, and she's figuring things out too, and if she's in a mood and doesn't feel like sharing or doesn't feel like picking up her blocks right then, I try to remember that I have moods too and this too shall pass.

I'm with you Mama!!

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