A Christmas Story


A mother who lives for photographic moments with her daughter, is anticipating seeing Santa and taking that rite-of-passage yearly picture with him. However, mall Santa lines and prices will not do. The mother waits for the $5 Pancake Breakfast with Santa at the high school yesterday, which coincided with yet another winter storm and the daughter saying "No. No Santa". Then at their fabulous grocery store this morning, a miracle. A sign that says "Santa this way...". How convenient! SANTA at the grocery store!  After asking around, they find out that Santa took reservations for the "Limited Engagement" and they were full.

After deciding that 1. "Reservations" for Santa are stupid and 2. Her daughter had no interest in seeing him anyway, she resigned herself to making this a FUN day anyway. They would buy everything they needed to make cut-out Christmas cookies, go home, and have a grand old time.

Scene 1:  The "Sounds of the Season" TV channel is on, festive music is filling the house. For comparison's sake, the audience should imagine Gene Autry's "Here comes Santa Claus" (foreshadowing a giant cluster)

Mom: "Isn't this fun?"
Larkyn: "Yes. I want fruit snacks."
Mom: "Alright, let's go roll the dough out on the table."
Larkyn: "I want milk."

Scene 2: At the table with the dough and a cup of flour for "dusting". Mom is getting her camera set up with back turned.

Larkyn: "Look! I put in flour!"
Mom: "Oh. Oh no! We don't need that in there! Come on, let's roll it out again."

Larkyn: (laughing) "So fun flour."
Mom: "Let mommy roll it out AGAIN.  No. Hands off for one second. I have to..."

Scene 3:  On the floor, crying.

Scene 4:  Returns to chair after finding a binky somewhere on the floor and smearing face with flour.

Mom: "OK, here's a cutter. Want to make a stocking?"
Larkyn: (Pushing the cutter in the same spot, overlapping the cutout approximately 40 times), "No."

Mom: "This is fun. This is fun to make cookies together, isn't it?" (while silently wondering if there was a missing circle of hell in Dante's Inferno that involved cookie baking with toddlers)
Larkyn: Completely ignores and stares mom in the face, daring her to stop her dough massacre.
Mom: Completely gives up at this point and lets her daughter make whatever the hell kind of cookies she wants.

Scene 5: After mom has managed to cut out 7 cookies, Larkyn looks at the chair and floor around her

Larkyn: "Dammit. A mess."

Scene 6: After the clean up and wardrobe changes. Time to decorate!

Larkyn: "SPRINKLES!"
Mom: "Yep."
Larkyn: (after one bite) "Delicious cookies!  Mommy try?"
Mom: "Mmm, ok!  Good job baby!"

Mom: Tries a cookie and smiles at her daughter. They have survived.
Larkyn: Bursts into tears. "I don't like it!! NO COOKIES!"

End scene

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