On being a Mother

Happy Mother's Day!  Oh, how being a mother changes this day forever. 

Before I was a mom, I thought I was fulfilling the Mother's Day expectations by buying a gift (a hanging basket perhaps?), getting a card, and...yep.

Now, that is the least of my concerns. More than any other year, this year I am grateful to be a mom and to have a (wonderful) mom. I told Matt I didn't want him to buy a gift this year, because I just can't think of anything I want more than quality time this weekend. Time with him, time with our moms, time with our kids when we are intentional. And also quality time to myself, which is a gift too. Not that I want to "get away" from them, but every human needs regenerative alone time, especially moms. 

So, we did brunch all together at a restaurant I have been eyeing for a very long time. We spent time outside together, sprucing up the yard, eating outside, without an agenda. I got some writing time, time to look at and edit photos...things that center me. 

The weather was perfection for the season's first farmer's market. Larkyn went with me to a sweet local boutique (Chelsea Borough Home) to paint vases together, create some bouquets, and just hang. The two of us. As we walked to the car, she said "This was the best day with just you". Really? Smelling mercury glass candles and filling mini mason jars?  OK, kiddo.

On "this side" of Mother's Day, I see the value in time. It is precious, fleeting, and finite. 

Every single time I brush her hair off her forehead for her goodnight kiss, every time I get tackled for an unsolicited knee-hug from him, and every time my mom pulls up next to me with my babies in her backseat waiting to see me after work. It is hard not to get a little wistful and feel like it is slipping away, but I am trying to take the example of so many of my "more seasoned" friends and view it as "every stage gets better and better". They might get older and bigger, but it is still a gift. I am going to try to think that way, but MAN do I love the toddler and preschooler stage!

This Mother's Day, I am the age my mom was when she had me. She is the most giving and generous person I have ever met. She reminds me of the Giving Tree, and she is truly a gift to the world. My dad was fiercely protective of her. If I hurt her feelings or slighted her at all, as sometimes daughters do, he was there to call me out. It is her time to shine now, to become that Mama Bear I know she can be on her own. This year is different, but has forced us all to grow and change. 

I am more forgiving on this side of Mother's Day. More forgiving of my own imperfections and how our life may not look like others. That we all have our own parenting tricks and if the iPad works during rest time, then it works. That our car is a total disaster, but the people in it are likely chattering and singing away while not caring that the floor is covered in pretzels and discarded shoes.

To all the mamas I love out there: You are enough. You may not see it, but you are. 

1 comment:

Nana said...

What a beautiful tribute and all around observation for moms everywhere. It has always been one of my favorite holidays but even more so now that I am known as Nana. Rhys came running up to me at lunch today yelling "Nana". My heart almost burst. And Larkyn was bursting at the seams to show me her gifts. I have been given the ultimate gifts of all. Unconditional love from my grandchildren. I have enough.

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